Whenever I Run
by Brittany Anne
Summary: I got frustrated with the story I'm writing, so I started this one just for fun. It's 'Lost' from the perspective of Esme, a character similar to Kate in some ways, but not completely. There is no Kate in this story. Please read and review, thanks!
1. Chapter 1

_I'm not sure how long this story is going to be because it's just a side project to the story I'm supposed to be working on, but I'm really enjoying it, so hopefully it'll go for a while. It's not my best writing, but it is fun. Please read and review, thank you! For anyone reading the other story I have on here, "Temptation", I will try to post the rest of it soon, but the documents are all saved on another computer. Please be patient, but I will get it up a.s.a.p. Thanks!_

**_I do not own the characters in this story except Esme, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Lost". They were created by JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof and they belong to them, Touchstone, and ABC._**

Chapter One

I woke up with trees all around me. I slowly sat up and looked down at my dirt-covered clothes. Both my jeans and light brown t-shirt were filthy...

In the back of my mind, I slowly began to remember what had happened... The plane was shaking, I heard the panicked screams start just when my head hit the seat in front of me and I blacked out.

I quickly stood, running through the tress, and hoped I was heading out and not further in.

And then I heard the screaming.

I passed through the edge of the forest and saw pieces of a plane--my plane, flight 815 from Sydney to L.A. I gradually walked closer as I took in my surroundings. It was obvious we were on an island as I walked across the beach.

"Move!" I heard someone yell.

I turned towards the sound and a man in a tattered suit, with short brown hair not much darker than mine, was running towards me, flailing his arms. "Move!" he repeated.

I looked up and saw one of the wings starting to sway. Before I had a chance to flinch, he shoved me out of the way and we both fell to the ground. My breathing was just as unsteady as his as the wing crashed onto the sand.

"Are you okay?" he urgently asked.

I nodded. "Y-yeah."

He helped me stand up with him, then quickly ran off towards someone who was screaming for help.

I continued to walk around, rubbing my wrists. It was a nice relief to have the handcuffs off, but there were still faint marks there. I had no idea how they'd even come off in the crash... I was just relieved.

I idly wondered what had happened to the Marshall escorting me to L.A. I didn't know if he was hurt, or even alive...

I continued to walk through the wreckage, without really paying attention to where I was going, when I accidently hit my foot against the boot of a man ruffling through a suitcase. He turned around to look at me. He had long blond hair and was dressed down, in a t-shirt and jeans. "Watch it, sweetheart." He spoke with a thick and husky southern accent, then turned back to the suitcase.

"Sorry," I murmured, then kept on walking.

I slowly began to realize I was heading away from the majority of people on the beach as I tripped over someone else's boot. I was about to apologize, when I recognized the man lying motionless on the ground... when I recognized he was dead.

I stared at him for much longer than necessary. I was free, for however short a time until rescue, but no one here had to know who I was... or what I'd done.

Sorrow filled me as I looked at him, knowing it was my fault he was dead, for it was my fault he was even on the plane. He was just doing his job... he probably had a wife and kids.

I sat down near him and crossed my legs.

I wasn't sure how long I was sitting there, staring at the dead body of the Marshall, until someone came up beside me. I realized it was much darker now. I lifted my head to see the man who had pushed me out of the way of the plane. I half-smiled.

"Did you know him?" he asked.

I paused cautiously before answering and looked back at the body. "He was sitting next to me," I explained.

I didn't look back up, but I could feel him watching me. "I'm Jack," he finally announced. He was extending his hand to me as leverage to help me up and I took hold of it.

"Esme," I replied once I was standing.

"Do you want to walk with me back to the beach?"

I nodded, and after taking once last glance at the man I'd inadvertently killed, began to head towards the direction we'd come from.

"Thank you," I said.

Jack looked at me with a confused look in his eyes for a moment.

"For saving my life," I explained with an impish grin.

He smiled back. "No problem."

We sat down by a fire on a broken tree trunk. "So, Jack," I began, "what do you do in the real world? When you're not saving everyone's lives out here, I mean."

He laughed. "I'm a doctor."

"Oh," I dragged out the word. "That explains it."

"Explains what?"

"The need to save everyone," I teased with another smile.

He chuckled. "I guess you're right."

A heavyset man with long, dark, and extremely curly hair came over, carrying food. He handed each of us one.

"Thanks," I said.

"No problem, dude," he replied. "We might as well eat before the rescue comes."

I smiled. "I'm Esme." I offered him my hand.

"Hurley." He shook my hand as he spoke.

"I'm Jack." He smiled too.

Hurley nodded. "Enjoy the food, guys," he said before walking off to deliver more.

"So, Esme," Jack said, "what do you do in the real world?"

I shrugged, looking at my food. It looked like a mix of airplane crackers and an oddly shaped sandwich. "I'm in between occupations." That was the closest to the truth I could manage.

He nodded and took a bite of his food. An unpleasant look crossed his face. "That's disgusting."

I laughed. "Not exactly gourmet."

"I think my TV dinners are better."

I laughed again and he smiled in response.

A loud screeching noise passed over the camp and everyone's heads jerked towards the jungle. Jack and I both stood and walked closer. The noise happened again, but further off to the side. We looked in that direction.

Suddenly, some of the trees came down in an order like dominoes. Like something was knocking them down...

When everything was still again, chatter broke out over the camp.

"What was that?" I asked in a breathless voice.

Jack shook his head. "I don't know."

Night slowly closed over the camp and I was finally able to fall asleep, despite the extremely uncomfortable wool blanket from the cabin.

I awoke feeling like I'd only slept a few hours. The sun was just beginning to rise, and Jack was already awake, dropping off more fire wood in the pile that had been started the night before.

I tied my hair back with the hair scrunchies I kept around my wrist, then got up to help him. I divided the load he was carrying towards the pile and we both dropped them off.

"Thanks," he said.

"No problem."

He began to head back towards the forest. I followed.

"What are you doing up anyways?" I inquired.

"Getting wood." I picked up on his stressed tone.

"Why?" I asked.

We entered the edge of the trees and began to pick up pieces of broken wood.

"I couldn't sleep," he replied. His tone was still strained.

"Jack," I said, "we're going to get rescued."

He nodded, not seeming convinced.

"Jack," I said again in a stern tone as I placed my hand on his chest to stop him from working. "We're going to get rescued."

We stared into each other's eyes and finally he slowly nodded. "I just want to make everyone feels safe until that comes."

I dropped my hand from his chest and sighed. The hold on our eyes didn't break until I bent down and continued to pick up wood. He did the same after a few moments.

We walked back to the beach and dropped another pile of wood down. "So what do you think it is?" I asked Jack.

He looked down at me. "What do I think what is?"

"The thing in the jungle that knocks down trees."

He almost smiled.

"I'm going to find the fusel lodge today," he announced, changing the subject. "There's probably a transceiver in there and we can call for help."

"I'm coming with you."

"Okay," he agreed, nodding. "We should wait until the others are up, see if anyone has seen anything out there to help us find it."

Jack and I continued collecting fire wood until the entire camp seemed to be awake. I took half the camp to ask about the fusel lodge, Jack took the other.

It took me quite a while to get through the people on my half. I was about to go back to Jack, to report that no one knew anything, when I realized I missed someone. It was the man I'd accidently tripped over the day before. He was sitting on the sand, leaning against a broken piece of the plane, and reading a book.

I walked over and stood in front of him. "Excuse me," I said.

He looked me up and smiled. "Well, hello, there chica. What can I do ya' for?"

"I'm heading out to the fusel lodge with Jack today, but we're not sure where it is. Have you seen any smoke out there?" I nodded pointedly towards the woods.

He shook his head. "Jack's the doctor, right?"

I nodded.

"Figures."

"What?" I asked.

He grinned. "The finest girl on the island already got her eyes on the doc."

I didn't have time to respond. Jack came over by me and had someone with him. He was a little shorter than Jack and had shaggy brown hair with a lot of blond highlights. "Charlie saw some smoke out in the forest yesterday, he's going to help lead us to it."

"Alright, let's get going." We all began to walk off.

"Hey!" The man with the accent yelled from behind me. I turned to face him. "What's your name, chica?"

I sighed. "Esme."

"I'm Sawyer." His voice was deeper than usual.

I kept looking at him for a moment, trying to place the reason for the change, but Jack interrupted my thought process. "You ready?"

I reluctantly looked away. "Yeah. Let's go."

We all headed back into the forest.

"What was going on with Sawyer?" Jack casually asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Nothing, I was just asking him if he'd seen anything."

Charlie laughed. "I would be surprised if he was honest," he said, speaking with an accent that sounded like a variation of British, "he's been stocking up on everything he can find... Seems pretty suspicious if you ask me."

It started to rain after about twenty more minutes of hiking. I looked up at the clouds and smiled. I saw Jack eyeing me with a grin on his face. "What are you doing?"

"I love the rain," I explained, still smiling, but looking at Jack now.

He chuckled.

"Do you see that?" Charlie said, pointing ahead. We both looked forward. After a few more steps through the trees, we came upon the front of the plane. It was up at a slant, the very front higher than the rest of it, resting on some trees.

"You ready?" Jack asked us both.

I nodded and we all headed forward. We got to the lowermost part of the plane, where it had broken off from the cabin. I took a deep breath and we started to climb in.

We all had to exert the most physical energy possible to reach the top. Jack and I were both stopped, breathing heavy, and Charlie was close behind.

Jack climbed up a little higher, closer to the captain's door and extended his hand to me. I grabbed it and he pulled me up. He opened the door and two bodies fell out, tumbling down the plane. I gasped and Charlie moved off to the side.

"You okay?" Jack asked me.

I slowly nodded. "You?"

He nodded back.

"I'm fine too," Charlie added in sarcastically. "Charlie's fine, in case anyone cares to notice."

I laughed once, then proceeded to climb into the very front of the plane. I rested my back on the wall once I got in and worked on catching my breath. Jack didn't waste time resting, he immediately began digging around.

I got up and reached over the pilot, checking on his side.

Suddenly, he took a deep breath and I stumbled back, falling into Jack. He caught and steadied me, then headed over to the pilot. "How are you feeling?" he asked, examining his eyes.

"I'm fine... just a little headache."

"You probably have a concussion," Jack said. "Try to stay still."

"How many," he was breathless, "survived?"

"About forty of us."

"How long has it been?"

"Sixteen hours."

"Sixteen hours," he repeated in a hopeless voice. It was hard to catch everything he said because of how breathless he was. "A few hours into the flight, we lost radio contact. We turned around to land in Fiji when we hit turbulence... By that time, we were over a thousand miles off course. They're looking for us in the wrong place."

Jack and I exchanged a panicked look. "The transceiver," he said, "where is it?"

The pilot reached around for it, despite Jack's orders to stay still. He got it and proceeded to press a few buttons on it and mess with the dial. "It's not working," he announced, shaking his head.

The screeching sound from the night before was suddenly sounding extremely close and both Jack and I stared at each other, eyes wide. "What is that?" the pilot asked.

"It's right outside," I whispered, terror shocked.

"What is it?" the pilot said again.

"Shhh," Jack quieted him and walked over to the window, trying to wipe off some of the condensation. I tried to look out another, and the pilot went over to a broken one, set the transceiver down on the seat, and stuck his head out to look.

He was ripped up while another screech was let out and blood splattered all over the windows. I screamed.

The plane began to shake and the front part dropped, the whole plane was level now. I ran over to Jack and we both turned to quickly leave. He quickly grabbed the transceiver as Charlie quickly came out of the bathroom, and we all ran out.

I was ahead, Jack was right behind me, and Charlie right behind him.

I realized I was alone very soon and stopped right in front of a clearing of trees. It was close to me, I could hear it. "Jack!" I yelled. "JACK!" I started to hypervenalate when someone grabbed me from behind. "Jack?" I turned around. It was Charlie. "Where's Jack?!" I asked.

"I-I don't know. I fell, and he came to help me... It was right behind us. That thing, it was right behind us!"

I started running back towards where we'd been.

"Where are you going?" Charlie yelled.

"To find Jack."

"But, that thing! Did you not hear what I said?!" Hysteria bubbled up in his voice.

I saw something shine in the mud as the sun began to come back out. I bent down to pick it up. It was a pilot's badge.

"What is that?" Charlie asked.

"It's the pilot," I heard Jack's voice say from behind.

I jumped up and turned around, walking towards him. I smiled up at him, but his face was stern.

"Guys," Charlie said and I turned back around. "How does something like that happen?" He pointed up and the pilot's body was covered in blood, massacred, lying on the branches of the tree above us.


	2. Chapter 2

_Here's chapter two. I hope you enjoy it, once again, please read and review. I'm hoping to have chapter three up this week._

Chapter Two

We made it back to camp quickly. The sight of Sawyer and another man who looked like he was from the Middle East were fist fighting on the beach. Jack and I quickly ran  
towards them. A man who was African American helped me pull Sawyer back and Jack pulled back the other man. They were still struggling.

"Hey!" Jack yelled.

Sawyer pulled his arms free from us and Jack let go of the other man, they both seemed to be calming down.

"What is going on here?" Jack asked them.

"He thinks _I_ crashed the plane!" the man yelled with a slight accent.

"I saw you sitting on the plane, Saddam!" Sawyer yelled back at him. "You kept your hands in your lap the whole time! And the man next to you didn't live, did he?!"

"Hey!" I yelled at Sawyer and pushed him back a step.

Jack took a deep breath and decided to move on to more pressing matters. "We found the cock pit. The transceiver was there, but it's broken... Does anyone know how to fix it?" He held it out as evidence.

"I might." The man who'd been fighting with Sawyer spoke.

"Oh, sure!" Sawyer said, "Give it to him!"

"Sawyer." I said it as a command and he looked down at me.

"I'm Jack," he introduced himself as he handed him the transceiver.

"Sayid." He fumbled around with a few buttons. "I'll need some time with it."

Jack nodded. "Go ahead."

"What is wrong with you?" I fumed at Sawyer when Sayid had walked away to work on the transceiver.

"I was just saying what no one else would, sweetheart." His voice had an edge to it.

"You can't just go around judging people," I accused.

"Like you judged me, chica?" He walked back over to where I'd seen him that morning and sat down.

The man that had helped me pull Sawyer back blocked my view. "You guys found the cock pit?" he confirmed.

I nodded and Jack came over beside me.

"I'm Michael," he introduced himself. "And that's my son, Walt." He pointed over a few feet to a boy who looked to be around ten years old, reading a comic book.

"I'm Esme." I shook his hand.

"Jack." They shook hands as well.

"You think he'll be able to fix it?" he inquired.

Jack shrugged. "Let's hope."

"So what happened out there? You all looked pretty shook up..."

I looked up at Jack, not sure if we were sharing exactly what the monster, or whatever it was, had done to the pilot.

Apparently, we were.

The story spread around the camp quickly. Soon, everyone knew.

I was walking to get a bottle of water from one of the tents when the sound of Sawyer's voice stopped me. "So I hear you defeated the big, bad monster." I looked over at him. He put a bookmark in his book and gave me an impish grin. "Good work."

"Is there something you wanted, Sawyer?" My tone was intentionally biting.

"Just to see that annoyed look on your face is all." He smiled again.

I rolled my eyes and walked off. I heard him chuckle as I did.

I walked into the tent and got some water, took a drink, and then came back out, shoving it into my backpack.

"Esme." I looked to where the voice had come from. Sayid was working on the transceiver.

"Did you get it to work?" I asked when I came over.

"Yes, but the battery is low. I can't get a signal down here. See," he pointed to it, "no bars."

"Where can you get a signal?" I asked.

He looked up into the mountains and I followed his gaze. Apparently, we had a hike ahead of us.

"Jack," I said as I came up behind him. He turned around to face me. "Sayid got the transceiver working, but we can't get signal down here... We're going on a hike."

"I should stay here," he said. "In case anyone needs anything."

"Okay." I started to walk away, when he lightly grabbed my arm and I turned back.

"Esme. If you hear anything, _anything_... run."

I nodded.

Sayid and I were getting ready to go, when a girl with short blond hair ran over to us, with a man of about the same age trailing her. He had brown shaggy hair.

"I'm going with them," she said. "I'm going on the hike."

"It's really not a good idea to upset your family right now, which at the moment, is me!"

"Oh, real clever... I'm going."

"No, you're not, Shannon," he grumbled. "She's not going," he said to me.

"Maybe you shouldn't..." I began.

"Oh, what are you, like two years older than me? I'm going."

"Then I'm coming too," he announced.

"No, you're not, Boone."

"Look," Sayid said. "Anyone that wants to come can. But we need to get moving."

Charlie decided to join our hike as well. As we started to walk off, I passed Sawyer. He was reading a piece of paper, and his face was full of sorrow... He didn't notice me, and when I couldn't look anymore, I turned and kept walking.

We were just getting off the beach when Sawyer came past me.

"Decide to join us?" I asked, irked.

"I'm a complex guy, sweetheart," he replied without looking at me.

We'd been hiking for about an hour and Sawyer and Sayid were arguing.

"Why don't you try it now?" Sawyer had asked.

"Because I don't want to run out of battery."

"Turning it on real quick ain't goin' to kill the whole battery."

He didn't answer.

"Just try it."

"Not yet."

"Why not?"

He finally got mad and turned around to face Sawyer. "Because I want to have enough battery left so that when we get a signal---"

There was a noise that made us all stop dead in our tracks and look around. There was a space of very tall grass in front of us and some of it started to come down.  
It was coming towards us.

"Run!" I yelled and turned to head off in the other direction. Shannon screamed and everyone ran, except for one notable exception.

"Sawyer!" I yelled to him and tried to turn around, but Sayid held me back and made me keep running.

Suddenly, a sequence of about seven gunshots went off and we all stopped. I looked back and Sawyer was standing there... with a gun. And whatever he'd shot was lying a few feet in front of him.

"It's a bear," Shannon said with surprise as we all came back.

"Do you think that's what happened to the pilot?" Boone asked.

"No," Charlie replied, shaking his head. "That's a teeny, tiny version compared to what happened to the pilot."

"Guys," I said. "This isn't just a bear... it's a polar bear."

I looked down at the massive bear and Sayid came up beside me.

"Do polar bears live this close to the equator?" Boone inquired.

"No," Sayid replied. "They don't."

"Where did that come from?" I turned and asked Sawyer.

"I don't know, mystery bear island. How the hell am I supposed to know?"

"Not the bear, the gun," I explained.

"I got it off one of the bodies."

"Off one of the bodies?" Sayid asked.

"Yeah, off one of the bodies."

"People don't carry guns on planes."

"Well, this guy did. He was a Marshall, I could tell by his badge." He held it out as evidence. "I took that too, thought it was cool."

"I know who you are. You're the prisoner, the one he was escorting," Sayid accused.

"Oh, yeah," he replied sarcastically. "I'm the prisoner, you're the terrorist."

I watched the gun in Sawyer's hand very carefully, and when he couldn't see me, I snatched it from his hand and pointed it at him.

"Does anyone know how to use a gun?" I asked.

"Yeah, you just pull the trigger," Charlie said.

"I need to know how to take it apart," I said.

Sayid walked me through the steps and once all the pieces were apart, I handed the smaller pieces to Sayid and Boone. I gave Sawyer the main part, and he grabbed my arm, pulling me into him.

"I know your type," he whispered.

"I doubt it."

"Yeah, I've been with girls like you."

"Not girls exactly like me," I said and yanked my arm back.

_"Esme," Tyler said to me in his Australian accent. He was only visiting L.A. for a year. "I know we haven't known each other for long, but I just can't imagine my life without you." He got down on one knee and held my hand. "Will you marry me?"  
_

_ I smiled but my answer caught in my throat. Finally, it came out. "Yes."  
_

_He jumped up, placing his hands on my face, and leaned down to kiss me. _

"We should keep going," Sayid said.

I nodded and we kept hiking.

It took us about another two hours, but when we came to a clearing at a very high elevation, Sayid turned on the transceiver.

"Oh, sure, turn it on now," Sawyer said. "Not before, but now."

"Hey!" Sayid yelled. "I've got a bar!"

We all came over and he started speaking into it. "Mede! Mede!"

Static started coming back, and then a voice came on. It was a woman speaking French.

After she spoke, there was a deep voice saying a sequence of numbers.

"It's French," Sayid said. "Does anyone speak French?"

Boone pointed to Shannon. "She does."

"What?" she said. "No, no, I don't."

"You lived in Paris for a year!"

"I can't do it!"

"Hey," Sawyer interjected, "do you speak French or not? Because that would be really nice."

"Just try it," Sayid said to her. "The battery is dying."

"What is that?" Charlie asked when the deep voice came up.

"It's counting," Sayid said. "It's the number of times the message has played on a loop." He seemed to be mentally calculating the number.

She took it in her hand and held it up to her ear. "Please, she's saying... Please, someone help me. I'm alone now. On the island alone. They're dead, they're all dead… it killed them... it killed them all." She was speaking quietly and I couldn't catch everything she'd said, but I thought I caught the majority of it.

She handed the transceiver back to Sayid and the message played once more before it died.

"Sixteen years," he said, "sixteen years and five months... That's how long it's been playing."

"Someone else was stranded here?" Boone asked.

"Maybe someone came for them," Shannon replied.

"If someone came, why is it still playing?" Sawyer said.

No one answered.

"Guys," Charlie said. "Where are we?"

We started to walk back to the camp.

"It's getting dark," Boone said after a while.

"Then pick up the pace," Sawyer added.

"Hick," he muttered.

"A little louder?" Sawyer challenged.

"We should make camp," Sayid decided.

"What, here?" Shannon asked in a disbelieving tone.

"Yes, here." He dropped his backpack down.

"I'm not stoppin'," Sawyer said, "y'all have a nice cookout."

"Excellent, walk through the jungle in the dark." Sayid mimicked Sawyer's sarcasm.

"What? You afraid the trees are gonna get us?"

"No, what is knocking down the trees will get you."

"Well, if you're so worried about me," he pulled the gun out, "how 'bout you give me the clip back?"

"Put your gun back in your pants, Sawyer," I said.

He grinned.

"Sayid's right," I continued. "If you keep walking, you won't make it back to the beach."

"Yeah, why's that?"

Charlie and I exchanged a look.

"Trust me."

We made up camp and Sayid was discussing the course the plane was on.

"Yeah, but, they'll find us," Charlie said. "They have satellites in space that can take pictures of your license plate."

"If only we were all wearing license plates," Sayid replied.

"Well aren't you the pessimist…."

"Satellites can take a picture, but they have to be told where to shoot."

"Oh."

"How 'bout we talk about that other thing?" Sawyer suggested. "You know the transmission Abdul picked up on his little radio? The French chick that said they're all dead? The transmission that's been on a loop for, how long was it, chica?" he asked me.

I sighed. "Sixteen years."

"Right…. Let's talk about that."

Everyone was silent.

"We have to tell the others when we get back," Boone said.

"Tell them what, exactly?" Shannon asked.

"No one's going to tell them anything," Sayid began. "To relay what we heard would take away their hope. And hope it a very dangerous thing to lose."  
"So we lie," I said.

No one answered.

_"Hey, Es," Tyler said as we moved into our new house in Sydney, just days after the wedding. "Can you hand me that box?"  
_

_ "Sure." I reached over to get it and then set it next to him. We were both kneeled on the floor unpacking some boxes. I was putting books into the bookshelf.  
_

_I felt his hand run along the side of my face and I turned to face him. He smiled and I smiled back. He leaned in and kissed me.  
_

_ "I love you, Es."  
_

_ I smiled again. "I love you, too."_

I woke up to Sayid saying "What are you doing?" to Boone. He had the gun in his hand.

"You took my gun off me, boy?" Sawyer said.

"Give it back to me," Sayid ordered.

"Oh, yeah," Sawyer objected, "give it to him, he'll protect it."

"I'll keep the damn gun." Boone wasn't giving up.

"We should give it to her," Shannon said, pointing at me.

"Yeah," Charlie agreed. "Give it to Esme. She should have the gun."

"Fine with me," Sayid agreed also.

Boone looked at me, then sighed and handed it over. I put it in the back of my jeans

_Tyler came home and slammed the door. "Tyler?" I called and walked over. "Are you alright?"  
_

_ His face was clearly angry as he loosened his tie.  
_

_ "Did something happen at work?"  
_

_ "Get away from me," he grumbled.  
_

_ "I only asked," I said and began to walk away.  
_

_ He grabbed onto my arm tight and yanked me back, then let go, only to use that hand to slap me across the face. That had been the first day of many. _

We made it back to the camp before nightfall. Sayid was in charge of making up a story to tell people; I went to find Jack.

"Jack," I said and he turned around to me. He'd been staring out at the ocean. "We heard something on the transceiver... Sayid decided it was best if we didn't tell everyone, but I thought you should know."

He waited.

"We got a signal, but we couldn't transmit out... We couldn't transmit out because something else was already transmitting." I proceeded to tell him what the French transmission had said. "Sayid calculated it... It's been transmitting on a loop for sixteen years."

The crease in his eyebrow deepened. "Is he sure?"

I nodded.

He took a deep breath and exhaled sharply. "I need to show you something."

I looked at him, confused, but followed anyway. He was heading towards the tent he'd set up for himself.

"Hey, chica!" Sawyer called as I passed him. I turned. He winked at me and grinned.

I looked away. Jack was staring at me with a peculiar expression in his face.

He moved back the tarp covering his tent and we both walked inside. "Jack, are you okay?"

He bent down and unzipped his backpack, pulling out a piece of paper. "I went on a walk today," he began, "I was going to find that man, the one you were staring at. I was going to bury him... I was carrying him off, away from the beach, and this fell out of his jacket." He held up the paper for evidence. My breath caught in my throat. Oh no...

He opened it up and held out a picture of my mug shot.

I looked into his eyes as I felt the tears fill my eyes. "Jack..."

My head started to feel light and I stumbled back, losing my balance. Jack caught me by my waist, then helped me sit down. He sat down in front of me.

After the dizziness steadied, I spoke. "Do you want to know what I did?"

He looked at me for a long moment, deliberating. "No," he decided. "I don't want to know. It doesn't matter, what we did, before this, before the crash…. Three days ago, we all died. We should all be able to start over."

"Okay," I said after a minute.

He slowly nodded. "Okay."

I left Jack's tent in a few minutes and went further down the beach, setting up a small fire. I was trying to get it started when I heard someone approach.

Sawyer held out his lighter. "Need a light?"

I took it and nodded. "Thanks."

I was lighting up the fire and he took a seat next to me. I handed the lighter back to him once the fire was started.

"So I hear you and the doc are havin' a rough time." His tone was more sarcastic than usual. "Is he jealous of us, chica?"

I smiled and continued to stare into the fire.

"Are you alright?" He sounded surprisingly sincere.

I looked at him. His blue eyes were deep, but guarded. "I'm fine." He turned away.

"Sawyer," I said. He looked back. "Why'd you come on the hike today?"

"Alone time's never been good for me," he replied after a minute.

I smiled.

"What?" he asked in a tone that suggested he'd been pulled out of his melancholy mood.

"Alone time's never been good for me, either," I admitted.


End file.
